


You Waited Smiling (For This?)

by fun_sized_advil



Series: My Spotify Playlist as Fics [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Author Projecting onto Morality | Patton Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders Fluff, Cuddling, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Morality | Patton Sanders Angst, Morality | Patton Sanders In Love, Pining, oof when they dont love you back
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:34:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28077057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fun_sized_advil/pseuds/fun_sized_advil
Summary: Patton pines for Janus and oh god does it hurt.I stole the title from "Burned Out" by Dodie Clark because Dodie Clark is a beautiful goddess and because I can, okay-
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders
Series: My Spotify Playlist as Fics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2091693
Comments: 4
Kudos: 26





	You Waited Smiling (For This?)

**Author's Note:**

> Uh so I wrote this at 2:31 AM last night and boy oh boy was I emotional. I tried out a new writing style too so let me know how y'all like it and if I should continue this into another chapter (or two)!

Patton took a deep breath. “Of course Janus! I’d love to”. His voice hitches a bit on that word. _Love_. What a curse, to use Janus and love in the same sentence.

“Thank you Patton, I’m quite excited for this date with Roman and you’ve always had an eye for fashion.” He blushed at the word date, and Patton wishes so much that the blush was for him and not Roman.

\---

Patton remembers when he first fell in love. It happened slowly. A brush of a hand, a lingering stare. Then, all at once. One day he looked at Janus and couldn’t help but step back, as if his radiance was too much for such a proximity.

Sure they didn’t agree on everything, but at the end of the day it was Jan and Pat and nothing could change that. Best friends. Of course, that’s all they ever were. So close that Janus could pretend to be Patton, and no one else would notice till Janus decided to slip up.

They knew each other. They knew what snacks they could share and what movies to play. They knew what each other feared, and hoped and dreamt. so it was shocking really, that Janus didn’t know how much Patton loved him. Maybe it was hidden under the title of friendship; Patton has never been the best at flirting. Or maybe, Janus didn’t see it simply because he didn’t want to.

\---

Patton remembers the evening after the courtroom. After all, pain is so much more memorable than joy. He was a little bit jealous of the attention Jan had given Roman, but he wouldn’t hold Roman to it, none of the sides knew of his infatuation. His mind was so focused on that little touch behind his right ear, when Janus pulled out a bowl of Butterfingers. Patton held moments like those close to his heart, basking in them like shiny gold trophies, reading far too much into them to justify this more-than-crush feeling in his chest.

Anyways, he wanted to check up on Roman after the sacrifice he made for Patton today. A plate of his signature chocolate chip cookies was balanced on one arm while the other was kept free to steady himself as he climbed the stairs.

He could hear Disney a cappella melodies blaring from his room. He knocked the intro to “Hamilton” rather loudly, wanting to be heard over the music.

“Roman..?” he called.

No response. He knocked again but figured he wouldn’t be heard. Roman had told him he was always welcome, and Patton just wanted to be sure he was okay. It should be fine to just open the door. Right?

“i'm coming in..!”

He pushed down on the handle and opened the door only slightly, before shoving it a bit with his hip and trying to balance the high stacked plate of cookies still. He turned the rest of his body to scan the room for the side in question.

And there, sprawled on the king sized bed, lay a snoring Roman and Janus. A hand around a waist, a hand pushing away hair from the others eyes, a hand around the two of them and a hand resting on the taller one's chest. They were cuddled together. so clearly enamored, for friends simply didn’t hold each other that way. Janus’ bowler hat and cloth gloves rested on a Moana themed side table. They were comfortable, and a smile played on lips that knew requited love. Together, they were happy.

Happy.

Suddenly, Patton felt a pang in his chest. It was growing and growing as it dawned on him to what the sight he saw truly meant. And then it all came crashing down on him. The weight of everything. He could feel his heart ripping apart and _oh_. He had forgotten what this felt like, pain so consuming that he couldn’t remember what it was like to feel anything else. He sobbed and sobbed and with every gasp for air he took, he wanted nothing more than to disappear. Well in truth, he did want one thing more than that. He wanted Janus.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi to me on tumblr! I'm @funsizedadvil
> 
> Roast me if you find any typos. Much love to y'all and wear a mask 💛


End file.
